I now envy the Irish Exit-ers

I used to judge those people—whether friends, family members or colleagues—who would quietly exit the party without saying goodbye. I never expected that they needed to plant a firm hand shake or hug every single soul there…nor kiss every baby’s head like the pope. But to the ones closer to them…come on? Why didn’t you respectfully say good night and maybe even close the night with a compliment to the host? 

I suspected being an introvert was the reason. So, is it—you introverted introverts or extroverted introverts? Me, a double extra large extrovert with extrovert on the side wants the secret sauce. 

Not until recently, I flipped that mentality around. I realized that people pleasing was my obsession, and that the lack of people pleasing for those sneaky escape artists was a gift. A special talent in fact. How could I NOT go around and “please” everyone by saying all the sweet nothings to them before I depart? 

I was the one with the skeletons in my closet, not them. I commend those, in fact. You tear down the social norm walls of “I don’t care what they think about me” and go onto your own business. 

Amazing. How do you do it? How did you learn that, or unlearn that? My mom is quite the people pleaser. Almost overbearing, but I know it’s all out of goodness. She means well. It’s a nurturing quality to worry. I absorbed that personality trait from her and it hasn’t made me a bad person. It just made me more anxious from time to time. 

Well, I’m changing gears now, as a 49-year old that is slowly adding introvert to my life resumé. I find myself quietly exiting events and gatherings. It feels good too. I know I’ll see them later. It’s OKAY JEFF. Just walk away. 

I don’t even know where the phrase Irish Exit or Irish Goodbye came from, but it’s helped me shrink my need to people please. 

I even apply this to my clients. Or even my client’s audience. Be you. You can’t control other peoples’ opinions, judgements, feelings and preferences on how one should act or present themselves. I suggest my clients to take more risks, as long as it’s an act of selfhood.

Do you partake in the Irish goodbyes? How do you feel, whether you do or don’t? I’d love to know if you travel these introspective journeys too. 

And now…..(door quietly shuts)….